House in Maryland
Reasons to book
About this house rental
Farm Animals, Wildlife, Country Living close to all conveniences.
Located within 5 minutes of I-95 in Bel Air, Maryland in an upscale neighborhood, within walking distance to Cedar Lane Sports Complex and short drive to Hospitals, Restaurants, Theatres etc.
Quaint, freshly cleaned & sanitized interior amenities like Comfort Grande Beds, Egyptian cotton linens, ultra quiet HVAC and other features of a quality home in a modest exterior awaits you in this primitive gentleman`s farm setting.
Now, we`ve got a few rules to go over.
No more than 6 people or 2 pets on the property at anytime. No early checkins. No late checkouts possible.
Attention, would-be fire-starters and smoke enthusiasts, gather `round for some house rules that are as serious as a stern librarian`s glare:
No smoking, vaping, candle summoning rituals, or indoor bonfires allowed within these hallowed walls. We`ve already got a smoke detector, and it`s not shy about tattling.
If you`ve got a hankering for some grilled goodness, fret not, we have a grill you can temporarily adopt. Just remember to return it to its rightful place after you`ve charmed those burgers. We like our property not on fire.
Seriously, folks, we`ve spent some quality time perfecting this place, and we`d prefer it not to become a crispy critter. So, if we catch any whiff of your indoor smoking or vaping adventures, that`s a swift $2000 fine. Ouch, right?
Fear not, outdoorsy types – we`ve got several acres of the great outdoors where you can puff away to your heart`s content. Think of it as your own personal smoking sanctuary, minus the burning house drama.
In a nutshell, no smoking indoors – we like our walls uncharred and our fines unspent. Please, respect the rules, or we`ll have to unleash the fire extinguisher-wielding squad.
Welcome to the `Not-A-Party Palace!` Just so we`re clear, this isn`t the kind of place where you can unleash your inner party animal. No confetti cannons, no disco balls, and definitely no impromptu dance-offs in the living room.
Now, about the guest list – it`s not just for your human pals. We`re talking about your furry companions too. They`ve got to make the cut, and there`s no sneaking them in later. We want to make sure everyone`s accounted for, from your Aunt Mabel to Mr. Whiskers.
This place? It`s our pride and joy, and we`d love for you to treat it as such. If you`re looking for a spot to leave in shambles, this probably isn`t your cup of tea. We`ve grown rather attached to our walls and furniture, you see.
So, if your idea of a good time involves trashing a place, kindly look elsewhere. But if you`re up for a peaceful, respectful stay, you`ve found your home away from home. Welcome to the `Not-A-Party Palace!`
Now, please don`t make the beds when you check out. We`ve got a cleaning crew for that, and they`re very possessive about their bed-making duties. And please don`t lock the doors behind you, unless you want to start a game of `Who`s Got the Key?` with the next guests.
Also, we know our home is cozy and all, but please resist the urge to rearrange the furniture like you`re a contestant on `Extreme Home Makeover`. Our cleaning crew gets easily confused when things aren`t in their proper place, and we don`t want them accidentally vacuuming up the dog or something.
We`ve got some nice white linens for you to use, but please try not to use them as a canvas for your artistic expression. We`ve had a few... incidents in the past that have made us reconsider our choice of color scheme. If you do happen to cause some irreparable damage, we`ll have to charge you for replacements - sorry, but that`s just how it goes.
And lastly, we`re here to make your stay as comfortable as possible. Just give us a holler if you need anything, whether it`s extra pillows, a cheese platter, or a life-size cutout of Nicolas Cage. We`re always happy to help, as long as it`s legal.
So, have fun during your stay, and please let us know if we can improve in any way. We`re always looking for ways to make our guests feel more at home - or at least less likely to burn the place down.
Have an awesome time in Bel Air.








